Turkish Hammams

Didn’t know what to expect, but we were told that hammams (Turkish baths) were staffed by these massive topless women who (wo)manhandled you and treated you like a piece of cloth: washed you very well but made you feel like a rag while doing so. We didn’t have much time except in our hotel in Kappadocia where the ladies decided to try it out. . The reality was very different. First of all, it was quite unnerving to walk into the spa and when asking for a masseuse, to be confronted by a man all ready to service our request! After insisting upon a “for women, by women” kind of framework, we got to the next step - stripping and wrapping ourselves in a scrap of cloth - with tassels! Pray why the style in a bathroom??? Did nobody tell them that its coverage we want, not fashion?? We almost sashayed out of the changing rooms only to find the aforesaid male masseuse lurking around. A few hurried pidgin Hindi internal confabulations later, we banished this poor male from his own hammam before we were ready to walk out like queens. The point at which we gave up and were bent into submission was when we walked into the sauna and found it to be co-ed!

After that it was totally easy. If you can philosophise that everyone has the same bits and bobs, you can be ready for anything. But not male therapists please! Anyway, we first baked ourselves in the sauna in the attempt to “open our pores”, then lay on a slab of marble like a piece of meat waiting to be scrubbed clean. The “madam” of the hammam (hamster?) was a totally petite and svelte young thing, completely different from what we were told to expect. Wondering whether that made the difference: wasn’t exactly painful or invigorating, or anything at all. We did feel like we were the laundry though when we got a whiff of the familiar laundry detergent that they put in tonnes onto our body, and scrubbed us with a loofah like a veggie! Incidentally all the bazaars carry such a variety of bath sponges, its like you can decide the quality, pressure, and shape of the rub you want on any day! Have to say that managing the tassled bath robe in this situation makes you ready for any costume changing challenge! And we did look suitably “chastened” and clean when we dripped and hopped our way into the changing room.